"How's it going, Lije?" asked Dom. He passed a glass of orange juice to Elijah and read over his shoulder. "Hey, that's great. Are you sure Frodosbint & Samssexkitten wouldn't be pissed at your for implying they're gay?"

"Why would they, even if they ever read this stuff, which they obviously don't. Hey I'm just expressing my love and admiration for the two greatest fanfic writers in slashdom. It's hard being a fan, they need to know we love them and understand their needs." Elijah picked up the candid snap of the two women in its ornate silver frame. He sighed. He loved them both, these fans, these writers; but if he had to choose it would probably be Frodosbint with her cute frizzy hair and thick glasses. He knew if they found out about the RFS (Real Fan Slash) site they might sue, but he couldn't stop writing. And he wasn't alone.

Orlando had writer's block and was just a nightmare at the moment, sulking and refusing to leave his aparment until he was "inspired" but Viggo had written twelve fics about his favourite fans, Delilahluvsviggo and Viggomortensenisgod, and they were the most downloaded on the site. Of course, only movie stars had access to this closely guarded slash site. It was unthinkable that the fans should find out, there might be such trouble. But it was so good, writing slashy, sexy, steamy stories about fans. Viggo often found himself sitting at his computer in his birthday suit, tapping his keyboard and perspiring as he committed his love and adoration to the screen.

Dom and Billy wrote joint slash. It just seemed so natural to work that way. Dom would think of a plot for their fans, Domandbillysittinginatree and Billyanddomareatitlikerabbits, and Billy would polish it up and check on the timeline in the resource library on the site. They had the best detectives on five continents researching the fans. Of course they didn't write about them all, just the wacky ones. It was rumoured that Sean Astin was penning a really long fic all about a ficwriter who wrote soppy humorous fics in England; he had her followed, knew her routine, the names of her cats, her likes in food, and was hard at it, plot bunnies flying like mad in the Astin household.

Ian had tried co-writing with Nick but it hadn't worked out. The age gap somehow got in the way. Ian wanted to write slash about Gandalfsfavesexslave and Wizardloverinnebraska, who he had met at a convention and found fascinating, but Nick was taken with Thesexyguywiththewizard, who lived in Sydney, and Hotwizardloversstaff from Perth. But they compromised and beta'd each other's fics, sometimes into the small hours.

Life was good, being a movie star, attending premiers, being photographed, driving fast cars. But writing fanfiction was the icing on the cake.

"Lij, when is Sean Bean going to post part sixteen of Man of Gondor and His Fan Slaves?" asked Dom, rubbing Elijah's neck.

"No idea, he promised it would be on the site last night, the prick. He knows we're all panting for it. When he left those two just about to have sex in the canoe and then being interrupted by that fan from Leeds, that was just unbelievable. I thought I was going to bust a gut!" Lije replied, reaching for a Clove.

"Elijah, what do you think the fans would say if they knew we stalk em and write this stuff about them?" asked Dom, rubbing Elijah's back.

"They must NEVER know, Dom."