Elijah Wood/Sean Astin/Dominic Monaghan, Elijah Wood/Dominic Monaghan
Rating: NC17
Summary: Elijah needs Sean to listen then they can get on with all the good stuff
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Disclaimer: No profit is made nor offence intended.
This is the closing of a chapter so we can start the book anew. We will close the chapter entitled "Dominic" and never read it again. Is that okay, Sean? I need to tell the story, you need to listen, or it will always be there, festering. Okay then.
Our first kiss, yours and mine, came out of nowhere really. It just happened on the day that I decided to tell Dominic that I was crazy about him. It seemed like a good idea at the time, to share my feelings with Dominic, seeing as we had been having hot sex for the past three weeks. Timing, my timing always sucks.
Dominic and I were attracted to each other almost straight away. Billy was cute and funny and sweet. You were the big brother figure; the married older man who I respected and admired, but Dominic was special and simply sexual and I fell for him hard. But you knew that, already, didn't you?
Each time he kissed me I felt faint, I really did. He had this knack of taking ownership of my mouth, marshalling all my impulses against me, raping my tongue… Who wouldn't fall for that? I was nearly nineteen, naïve and full of want. Dominic sated the want. You were there, on the sidelines, and I could see the worry etched in your face and I loved you for it whilst at the same time shrugging off your concern. I thought you were old, Sean, out of touch. What a prick I was.
Dominic's demands were exciting, extremely so. Each morning I would turn up on set with dark circles under my eyes and the makeup artist would chide me. What the hell! Each night I was having incredible sex with an incredible guy; what did a few bags and blemishes matter? Between crisp sheets, Dominic steered me on a course of unrelenting passion that had me at one moment screaming like a banshee and the next sobbing like a baby. With one expert hand, even one flick of one dextrous finger, I was laid bare and helpless. It was so new to me, Sean. I wish it had been you.
I know you don't want to hear all the details, Sean. I know now that during this mad time you had feelings for me. When I think of how it must have hurt you to watch us together, well, I could curl up and die with shame. But I didn't know. Dominic opened up a whole new world to me, Sean, and I stepped right on in and embraced it wholeheartedly.
One whole day, a free from filming day, we spent in bed. People say that all the time, don't they? We spent the day in bed. But we did - at least eighteen hours. I learned how to squeeze just so; how to apply just the right amount of pressure to the head of the cock to elicit precum and ecstasy in equal measures and then to take the whole of my lover into my mouth and suck... Sorry, Sean. Shall I go on? You decide.
All right then. One telling, then we close the chapter forever.
Dominic was content with the oral expression of our love for a while. I said love. I thought that was what it was, Sean. Love. We would take turns to suck and kiss and feel and jerk… it became an art form, the use of tongues. A week in, though, the day after the marathon bed fest, we moved up a notch. Not that I was complaining. Stop me, if this gets too much.
Well, I arrived at his place late one evening and we drank beer and watched a silly video. Damn, I cannot believe I have forgotten what we watched. Some stupid shoot `em up with out-of-synch dialogue and a plotline that was so bad it was good. Halfway through, Dominic disappeared. I didn't think anything of it, why would I? A man has to pee, doesn't he?
I was sitting on the floor, leaning against the sofa, my legs out in front of me, a can of beer in one hand. The pressure of his hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently, was the indication he was back. I sort of shrugged his hand between my shoulder and chin, without taking my eyes off the action on-screen. A major character was about to die. I was eighteen going on nineteen, this stuff meant something; don't laugh, Sean.
Something appeared in my eye line. He was holding something for me to see, something I had never even imagined before and I tore my eyes away from the video to see a bottle of lube. Lube. It might as well have been moon dust or essence of yak for all it meant to me at that time. I looked into his eyes then and he was more excited than I had ever seen him.
So, this was it. The big boys' league. To say I was nervous would be the grossest kind of understatement, Sean, I was petrified. He saw my fear and he held my hand and then he kissed me. It was such a deep kiss that I felt faint and then I was on my back on the carpet and my pants were way over the other side of the room. The television blared and sirens wailed and the major character was dead and gone. I was gone.
Nearly done now, okay?
The carpet itched against my backside and Dominic's fingers grasped the flesh of my ass whilst his mouth fastened on mine. All the lights flashed on and off in tune with his rhythm on my mouth and my skin. I think a condom was produced – don't look at me like that, Sean, I know about safe sex. Anyway, condom or no, I felt his weight on me and fingers inside me, and all the time there was a constant kiss which very nearly killed me. I think he was saying "I love you, I love you", but maybe I imagined it. I just knew that I wanted it over and I wanted it to be endless. When he actually pushed in I thought the world was gone mad, nothing should hurt like that. Man! Then something clicked and there was the sweetest feeling…
Don't cry. It's nearly done, I promise.
All the time he was inside me, I caressed his arms and back, and then my own erection which stood proud between us. I had never noticed what a beautiful back he had, very smooth and long. After a minute he stopped in his rhythm and hoisted my legs higher over his arms then began the thrusting again. I wanted more than anything to reach up and run my fingers through his hair but suddenly his face took on a different hue and his body seemed to shake. Within seconds I had followed suit. We went into spasm together and I thought I would break in two as he fell across me.
Afterwards, he lay spoon-like against my back, nuzzling my neck, and I stroked his wrist. I was in love. Simple as that.
The day I decided to tell Dominic I loved him was the day I opened my eyes and saw you for the first time. Sean. You had always been there, I just didn't know it. One minute you were the authority figure who I loved to tease and the next minute – no, second, nanosecond – you were you. In the time it took to cross the compound on my way to talk to Dominic, I laid my eyes on you and it was as if a cloud had lifted from the sun. I will never, ever, feel that way again, Sean. Saul of Tarsus on the road to Damascus couldn't have had a more dramatic awakening. Sean, you were there and you were incredibly beautiful and my brain screamed at me "This man is the one, you stupid fucker! Think for once!"
And I did.
I walked up to you and you opened your arms and I fell into them as if you had home inscribed on your chest. Why? Why should I have enjoyed such passion with one man only to find that I loved another? Where is the logic?
Dominic hasn't forgiven me, maybe he never truly will. I have asked him to stay with me in LA for a time and he has agreed. I will make it clear that it is just a friend helping out another friend. I think he knows this.
So, why am I telling you all this, Sean? Am I a perverse bastard? Why would I make you cry if I loved you?
Because if I didn't tell you, my darling, you would always wonder. You would always be eating yourself up. Now it cannot fester, Sean. Better to hurt you now, at the beginning, than later. If you decide no longer want me, then I will understand, but I hope with all my heart you won't feel like that, Sean.
What I had with Dominic was unbelievably good and passionate. I wish a thousand times that I had discovered that passion with you first, but I didn't. What I did discover, Sean, was this.
I love you.
End of Chapter. Beginning of Story.
The End